Act Your Age (Quotes)
Originally aired on April 17, 2007.
(Cameron and Chase are arguing).
House: Hey! Don't make me turn the hose on you two.
House: Someone better be dying.
Cameron: Lucy's brother has a crush on me, so he bit the hell out of Chase.
House: Not interested.
Chase: Figured you would like to know when one of your employees gets attacked by a sociopath.
House: Bees or monkeys, yes. Sociopaths, no.
Chase: For the record, Cameron was the one that broke it off.
Foreman: Not interested. No masses in the hypothalamus.
Chase: I wanted more. She didn't share my feelings.
Foreman: I feel like I'm in a similar position.
Wilson: It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without-
House: Blasphemer! She's not a friend of the opposite sex. She's a different species. She's an administrator. She's going to eat your head after she's done.
Wilson: Yes, I slept with her.
House: Seriously?
Wilson: No.
House: Yes, you did.
Wilson: Yes, I did.
House: Seriously?
Wilson: No. You've got a problem, House.
Chase: If he's abusing her, he'll never say yes.
House: Never is just "reven" spelled backwards.
House: You guys are idiots.
Cameron: Why? Because we stayed up all night doing exactly what you told us to do?
House: No. Because you stayed up all night doing exactly what I told you to do and you have nothing to show for it.
Foreman: We eliminated dozens of wrong anwers.
House: I asked you what two plus two equals, and a day later you tell me, "not 25."
Cameron: If menstruating is a sign of brain cancer, then I should be on chemo right now.
Cuddy: (Gives House a file). Restrictive Pericarditis.
House: Boring.
Cuddy: She's in kindergarten.
House: Less boring or Grandma's been held back a few years.
House: Guy gets a little something something. Couple of kids have to die. Circle of life.
House: (Speaking to Cuddy). Stop! The way the soft evening light catches your eyes. The gentle caress of dusk on your hair as you turn around and leave my office without giving me the file.
House: Dudes only go to plays if they’re dragged there by women they want to see naked.
(Wilson: is pretending to decide what to do after Cuddy sent him flowers he knows were really sent by House).
Wilson: I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to walk into her office, and I'm going to kiss her.
House: That's a bold move. Cuddy likes bold. Yeah, your right, if you spoke, you'd say something stupid.
Wilson: Yeah, and I'll either get a girlfriend or get fired. OK. Yeah. OK.
(Wilson: waits a moment to see if House will stop him, but then he walks out. Shortly after, he walks back in).
Wilson: You, you you you! You were going to let me do that?
House: Well, you made a compelling argument.
Wilson: You sent those flowers to me!
House: Yes, because you took her to a play, because actually you do want to march down there and kiss her."
Wilson: No! I don't!
House: Yes, you do.
Wilson: You're right.
House: Seriously?
Wilson: No. You're a jerk.
Chase: Why'd you take the flower? Why'd you kiss him?
Cameron: He did something sweet.
Chase: He stole flowers.
Cameron: He's eight.
Chase: You were trying to make me jealous.
Cameron: Yeah, and I want you to profess your love for me. Oh, wait, you already did that and it caused me to end our relationship.
Chase: You're enabling a thief. And a delinquent!
Cameron: Can I at least-?
House: "Waste your time"? Wouldn’t recognize you if you didn’t.
Cameron: We wait and your daughter may die.
House: She does this, your daughter will need hormone replacement therapy for the rest of her life.
Cameron: The treatments are extremely effective. She should live a relatively normal life.
House: Isn't that every parent's dream? To have a kid to be relatively normal?
Cameron: You're intentionally punishing us.
House: By making you do your job? Does seem kinda cruel, doesn't it?
Cameron: She's being abused.
Foreman: A bloody t-shirt doesn't equal abuse. Kids get hurt all the time.
Chase: That amount of blood?
Foreman: Oh, crap! You two are agreeing again.
(Cameron and Chase are arguing).
House: Hey! Don't make me turn the hose on you two.
House: Someone better be dying.
Cameron: Lucy's brother has a crush on me, so he bit the hell out of Chase.
House: Not interested.
Chase: Figured you would like to know when one of your employees gets attacked by a sociopath.
House: Bees or monkeys, yes. Sociopaths, no.
Chase: For the record, Cameron was the one that broke it off.
Foreman: Not interested. No masses in the hypothalamus.
Chase: I wanted more. She didn't share my feelings.
Foreman: I feel like I'm in a similar position.
Wilson: It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without-
House: Blasphemer! She's not a friend of the opposite sex. She's a different species. She's an administrator. She's going to eat your head after she's done.
Wilson: Yes, I slept with her.
House: Seriously?
Wilson: No.
House: Yes, you did.
Wilson: Yes, I did.
House: Seriously?
Wilson: No. You've got a problem, House.
Chase: If he's abusing her, he'll never say yes.
House: Never is just "reven" spelled backwards.
House: You guys are idiots.
Cameron: Why? Because we stayed up all night doing exactly what you told us to do?
House: No. Because you stayed up all night doing exactly what I told you to do and you have nothing to show for it.
Foreman: We eliminated dozens of wrong anwers.
House: I asked you what two plus two equals, and a day later you tell me, "not 25."
Cameron: If menstruating is a sign of brain cancer, then I should be on chemo right now.
Cuddy: (Gives House a file). Restrictive Pericarditis.
House: Boring.
Cuddy: She's in kindergarten.
House: Less boring or Grandma's been held back a few years.
House: Guy gets a little something something. Couple of kids have to die. Circle of life.
House: (Speaking to Cuddy). Stop! The way the soft evening light catches your eyes. The gentle caress of dusk on your hair as you turn around and leave my office without giving me the file.
House: Dudes only go to plays if they’re dragged there by women they want to see naked.
(Wilson: is pretending to decide what to do after Cuddy sent him flowers he knows were really sent by House).
Wilson: I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to walk into her office, and I'm going to kiss her.
House: That's a bold move. Cuddy likes bold. Yeah, your right, if you spoke, you'd say something stupid.
Wilson: Yeah, and I'll either get a girlfriend or get fired. OK. Yeah. OK.
(Wilson: waits a moment to see if House will stop him, but then he walks out. Shortly after, he walks back in).
Wilson: You, you you you! You were going to let me do that?
House: Well, you made a compelling argument.
Wilson: You sent those flowers to me!
House: Yes, because you took her to a play, because actually you do want to march down there and kiss her."
Wilson: No! I don't!
House: Yes, you do.
Wilson: You're right.
House: Seriously?
Wilson: No. You're a jerk.
Chase: Why'd you take the flower? Why'd you kiss him?
Cameron: He did something sweet.
Chase: He stole flowers.
Cameron: He's eight.
Chase: You were trying to make me jealous.
Cameron: Yeah, and I want you to profess your love for me. Oh, wait, you already did that and it caused me to end our relationship.
Chase: You're enabling a thief. And a delinquent!
Cameron: Can I at least-?
House: "Waste your time"? Wouldn’t recognize you if you didn’t.
Cameron: We wait and your daughter may die.
House: She does this, your daughter will need hormone replacement therapy for the rest of her life.
Cameron: The treatments are extremely effective. She should live a relatively normal life.
House: Isn't that every parent's dream? To have a kid to be relatively normal?
Cameron: You're intentionally punishing us.
House: By making you do your job? Does seem kinda cruel, doesn't it?
Cameron: She's being abused.
Foreman: A bloody t-shirt doesn't equal abuse. Kids get hurt all the time.
Chase: That amount of blood?
Foreman: Oh, crap! You two are agreeing again.
