Ugly (Quotes)
Originally aired on November 13, 2007.
Amber: Why did you bring her in so late? It's not fair, the rest of us-
House: Hey, hey, hey, you wanted fair - you picked the wrong job, the wrong profession... the wrong species.
Cameron: I learned how to be a doctor from House. Or, at least a doctor who learned to be a doctor from House, if that makes any sense.
Director: And you left his team because you couldn't stand him anymore?
Cameron: No, no, I love Dr. House.
Director: That's something we haven't heard.
Cameron: I mean... what did you ask me again?
Director: Why you left him?
Cameron: I mean... I loved being around him... professionally, you know, it was always stimulating... not in a erotic sense of the word.
House: Our patient has...
Amber: Why did you hire her?
House: Because she has way more diagnostic experience than the other swimsuit models I was considering.
Cuddy: You think I like the cameras? You think I want the whole world watching you checking out my a** and question my wardrobe?
House: Would it be better if I checked out your wardrobe and questioned your a**?
Cuddy: A little part of me-
House: There is no little part of you.
House: Let's go for a walk. Walks gives the illusion of the story moving forward.
House: I became a doctor because of the movie Patch Adams.
Cuddy: House, you have a minute to be disemboweled?
Taub: There's a mass lesion in the left anterior temporal lobe surrounded by edema.
House: Did you just insult me in Pig Latin?
House: Wow, you are ugly.
Kenny: Wow, you're an a**.
House: We can try and pretend we're above it, we can try and intellectualize it away. But ultimately, shiny, pretty, perky things are good and ugly, misshapen teenage boys are repulsive.
Director: The question was, do you resent Dr. Cuddy's interference in your practice?
House: Oh. Well, then I guess my answer wasn't very helpful, was it?
House: You're right about me being wrong and wrong about you being right.
House: Also, my eyes look better in rooms with summer colors.
House: I think she might be an idiot.
Wilson: Who?
House: But she can't be an idiot. She was in the CIA for God's sake.
Wilson: The Bay of Pigs was a daring triumph.
House: She had good ideas in Langley.
Wilson: All your ideas.
House: She was able to identify that they were good ideas.
Wilson: Stab in the dark here. Is she pretty?
House: She's new. She's nervous.
Wilson: She's a C-Cup?
House: She said one dumb thing in a differential. They all say dumb things in differentials.
Wilson: A D-Cup? If she's no good just fire her.
House: I can't! I just hired her. She left a career.
Wilson: Wow. Either that's actual guilt or I've got to see this woman.
House: Just a warning. We have to start getting consent every time we do a procedure, pretty soon they'll want informed consent.
Wilson: You've got a problem.
House: Tell me something I don't know.
Wilson: You hire beautiful girls, enslave them, force them to be around you because you don't know how to have an actual relationship. If they're qualified, keep them. If not, fire them and ask them out.
House: You do realize that "tell me something I don't know" is just an expression.
(Wilson is having fun with the camera crew).
Wilson: Well, it's great how he rebounded from that setback.
Director: What setback?
Wilson: He didn't tell you about the... ? Well, it's his right. The records were sealed. Personally, I think he was just tapping his foot and reaching for the toilet paper. Obviously, it was a witch hunt.
Director: You think they singled him out because?
Wilson: No, literally. It was a witch hunt. Dr. House is a practicing Wiccan. It's a beautiful religion. Very caring-
House: Hey, hey, hey!
Wilson: Where'd you get those keys?
House: Blue the janitor.
Wilson: What?
House: That's his name.
Wilson: His name is Lou.
House: I owe him an apology.
Amber: Why did you hire her?
House: Not in front of the company.
Kutner: Ah, are we gonna be on TV?
House: I'm making a music video. Come on, little faster, more energy.
Taub: Why are you glad Foreman is not here?
House: Because he would object on what I'm about to do.
House: Just watch twenty minutes of this stuff. Tell me if I'm out of my mind.
Wilson: Finally, we have video evidence.
Amber: Why did you bring her in so late? It's not fair, the rest of us-
House: Hey, hey, hey, you wanted fair - you picked the wrong job, the wrong profession... the wrong species.
Cameron: I learned how to be a doctor from House. Or, at least a doctor who learned to be a doctor from House, if that makes any sense.
Director: And you left his team because you couldn't stand him anymore?
Cameron: No, no, I love Dr. House.
Director: That's something we haven't heard.
Cameron: I mean... what did you ask me again?
Director: Why you left him?
Cameron: I mean... I loved being around him... professionally, you know, it was always stimulating... not in a erotic sense of the word.
House: Our patient has...
Amber: Why did you hire her?
House: Because she has way more diagnostic experience than the other swimsuit models I was considering.
Cuddy: You think I like the cameras? You think I want the whole world watching you checking out my a** and question my wardrobe?
House: Would it be better if I checked out your wardrobe and questioned your a**?
Cuddy: A little part of me-
House: There is no little part of you.
House: Let's go for a walk. Walks gives the illusion of the story moving forward.
House: I became a doctor because of the movie Patch Adams.
Cuddy: House, you have a minute to be disemboweled?
Taub: There's a mass lesion in the left anterior temporal lobe surrounded by edema.
House: Did you just insult me in Pig Latin?
House: Wow, you are ugly.
Kenny: Wow, you're an a**.
House: We can try and pretend we're above it, we can try and intellectualize it away. But ultimately, shiny, pretty, perky things are good and ugly, misshapen teenage boys are repulsive.
Director: The question was, do you resent Dr. Cuddy's interference in your practice?
House: Oh. Well, then I guess my answer wasn't very helpful, was it?
House: You're right about me being wrong and wrong about you being right.
House: Also, my eyes look better in rooms with summer colors.
House: I think she might be an idiot.
Wilson: Who?
House: But she can't be an idiot. She was in the CIA for God's sake.
Wilson: The Bay of Pigs was a daring triumph.
House: She had good ideas in Langley.
Wilson: All your ideas.
House: She was able to identify that they were good ideas.
Wilson: Stab in the dark here. Is she pretty?
House: She's new. She's nervous.
Wilson: She's a C-Cup?
House: She said one dumb thing in a differential. They all say dumb things in differentials.
Wilson: A D-Cup? If she's no good just fire her.
House: I can't! I just hired her. She left a career.
Wilson: Wow. Either that's actual guilt or I've got to see this woman.
House: Just a warning. We have to start getting consent every time we do a procedure, pretty soon they'll want informed consent.
Wilson: You've got a problem.
House: Tell me something I don't know.
Wilson: You hire beautiful girls, enslave them, force them to be around you because you don't know how to have an actual relationship. If they're qualified, keep them. If not, fire them and ask them out.
House: You do realize that "tell me something I don't know" is just an expression.
(Wilson is having fun with the camera crew).
Wilson: Well, it's great how he rebounded from that setback.
Director: What setback?
Wilson: He didn't tell you about the... ? Well, it's his right. The records were sealed. Personally, I think he was just tapping his foot and reaching for the toilet paper. Obviously, it was a witch hunt.
Director: You think they singled him out because?
Wilson: No, literally. It was a witch hunt. Dr. House is a practicing Wiccan. It's a beautiful religion. Very caring-
House: Hey, hey, hey!
Wilson: Where'd you get those keys?
House: Blue the janitor.
Wilson: What?
House: That's his name.
Wilson: His name is Lou.
House: I owe him an apology.
Amber: Why did you hire her?
House: Not in front of the company.
Kutner: Ah, are we gonna be on TV?
House: I'm making a music video. Come on, little faster, more energy.
Taub: Why are you glad Foreman is not here?
House: Because he would object on what I'm about to do.
House: Just watch twenty minutes of this stuff. Tell me if I'm out of my mind.
Wilson: Finally, we have video evidence.
