Fetal Position (Quotes)
Originally aired on April 3, 2007.
Cameron: My social life is my social life!
House: Couldn't agree more. What goes on in the privacy of the janitor's closet is nobody's business except-
Cameron: She (Cuddy) told me to end it. Is that what you want?
House: I was actually hoping she'd fire one of you.
House: So you take thousands of photos of someone, but only one has to look good. Kind of the opposite of my business.
Cameron: Anybody going to stop her (Cuddy)?
Chase: Stopping the madness is her job.
Foreman: Somebody’s got to be Cuddy’s Cuddy.
House: I know you can't talk, so I need you to look petrified if you consent.
Cuddy: I have a whole new appreciation for what you do. How hard it is to believe when everyone around you is telling you you're wrong?
House: It helps to know they're idiots.
Cuddy: Do you think I’m an idiot?
House: You’re not objective, but you’re not an idiot.
(During the operation, the fetus' hand grabs House's finger. He stops, looking at it.)
Cuddy: House.
House: Sorry. I just realized I forgot to TiVo "Alien".
Cameron: That was weird.
Chase: He was the way he always is.
Cameron: Which is weird. He caught us with your hand up my shirt. He's gotta have a reaction to that. You think that's what the vacation is?
Chase: Yes. The pain of losing you is obviously forcing him away.
Cameron: There's no way House just lets this slide. He's gotta be planning something.
Chase: Maybe he just doesn't give a crap.
Cameron: You think he just stumbled into that closet? He knew we were there. And he wanted us to know that he knew.
Chase: Or you wanted him to know. Now he does and you're annoyed because he doesn't care.
House: Mom's body is like the intricate German metro system. All the trains run on time. She gets pregnant, it's like a new station opening in Düsseldorf. A bunch of rookies running things. Bound to be mistakes. Kids play on the tracks and get electrocuted, and before you know it, trains are backed up all the way to Berlin and you got a bunch of angry Germans with nowhere to go. And we all know that ain't good for the Jews.
Chase: Ah... who are the Jews in this metaphor?
House: Even fetuses lie.
Cameron: Transesophageal echo.
Chase: Can't access his esophagus.
Foreman: High resolution CT could give us a clearer-
Chase: Too much radiation for a one pound person.
House: You can't just shoot everything down, Chase. You're not me. Collaborate.
Chase: A ventilation perfusion scan would be next.
House: How do we get a fetus to breathe in a radioactive isotope? Idiot.
Cuddy: (Speaking about Cameron and Chase). They're sleeping together?
House: If by sleeping together you mean having sex in the janitor's closet.
Cuddy: Here?!
House: No, the janitor's closet at the local high school. Go Tigercats! Do you have one of those camera phones? 'Cause I got a MySpace account.
Cameron: I've read that the outcome of Mirror Syndrome is almost always unfavorable.
House: Unfavorable... is that doctor speak for dead baby?
Cuddy: If you're playing catch in the living room and you break your mother's vase, you may as well keep playing catch because the vase is already broken.
Cuddy: The baby won't feel a thing.
House: Fetus! I'm lowering expectations. It works here and on dates.
House: (Speaking about a vacation in the Galapagos). Visiting family. My uncle's a giant turtle.
House: My real patient is dying, very quickly - like, I wouldn't advise her to buy any green bananas.
(Foreman, Cameron and Chase study a photo of House that was taken by Emma).
Foreman: This is definitely different.
Chase: It looks almost like...
Cameron: ... he's caring.
Cameron: You're insane.
House: I'm an insane genius.
House: Oh, look! Sticking up for your girlfriend. Who says chivalry is dead?
Foreman: (Speaking to Cameron). He's not joking?
House: Be patient. She's going through all of us. She'll get that jungle fever eventually.
House: What would we do if this patient were not just a tadpole? Say it was an actual person.
Cuddy: He is a person.
House: Thanks for playing along.
Emma: So this really worked. He¹ll be normal?
House: Um... if you call being born twice, normal.
Emma: Hey, thank you.
House: Don¹t thank me. I would have killed the kid.
Cameron: My social life is my social life!
House: Couldn't agree more. What goes on in the privacy of the janitor's closet is nobody's business except-
Cameron: She (Cuddy) told me to end it. Is that what you want?
House: I was actually hoping she'd fire one of you.
House: So you take thousands of photos of someone, but only one has to look good. Kind of the opposite of my business.
Cameron: Anybody going to stop her (Cuddy)?
Chase: Stopping the madness is her job.
Foreman: Somebody’s got to be Cuddy’s Cuddy.
House: I know you can't talk, so I need you to look petrified if you consent.
Cuddy: I have a whole new appreciation for what you do. How hard it is to believe when everyone around you is telling you you're wrong?
House: It helps to know they're idiots.
Cuddy: Do you think I’m an idiot?
House: You’re not objective, but you’re not an idiot.
(During the operation, the fetus' hand grabs House's finger. He stops, looking at it.)
Cuddy: House.
House: Sorry. I just realized I forgot to TiVo "Alien".
Cameron: That was weird.
Chase: He was the way he always is.
Cameron: Which is weird. He caught us with your hand up my shirt. He's gotta have a reaction to that. You think that's what the vacation is?
Chase: Yes. The pain of losing you is obviously forcing him away.
Cameron: There's no way House just lets this slide. He's gotta be planning something.
Chase: Maybe he just doesn't give a crap.
Cameron: You think he just stumbled into that closet? He knew we were there. And he wanted us to know that he knew.
Chase: Or you wanted him to know. Now he does and you're annoyed because he doesn't care.
House: Mom's body is like the intricate German metro system. All the trains run on time. She gets pregnant, it's like a new station opening in Düsseldorf. A bunch of rookies running things. Bound to be mistakes. Kids play on the tracks and get electrocuted, and before you know it, trains are backed up all the way to Berlin and you got a bunch of angry Germans with nowhere to go. And we all know that ain't good for the Jews.
Chase: Ah... who are the Jews in this metaphor?
House: Even fetuses lie.
Cameron: Transesophageal echo.
Chase: Can't access his esophagus.
Foreman: High resolution CT could give us a clearer-
Chase: Too much radiation for a one pound person.
House: You can't just shoot everything down, Chase. You're not me. Collaborate.
Chase: A ventilation perfusion scan would be next.
House: How do we get a fetus to breathe in a radioactive isotope? Idiot.
Cuddy: (Speaking about Cameron and Chase). They're sleeping together?
House: If by sleeping together you mean having sex in the janitor's closet.
Cuddy: Here?!
House: No, the janitor's closet at the local high school. Go Tigercats! Do you have one of those camera phones? 'Cause I got a MySpace account.
Cameron: I've read that the outcome of Mirror Syndrome is almost always unfavorable.
House: Unfavorable... is that doctor speak for dead baby?
Cuddy: If you're playing catch in the living room and you break your mother's vase, you may as well keep playing catch because the vase is already broken.
Cuddy: The baby won't feel a thing.
House: Fetus! I'm lowering expectations. It works here and on dates.
House: (Speaking about a vacation in the Galapagos). Visiting family. My uncle's a giant turtle.
House: My real patient is dying, very quickly - like, I wouldn't advise her to buy any green bananas.
(Foreman, Cameron and Chase study a photo of House that was taken by Emma).
Foreman: This is definitely different.
Chase: It looks almost like...
Cameron: ... he's caring.
Cameron: You're insane.
House: I'm an insane genius.
House: Oh, look! Sticking up for your girlfriend. Who says chivalry is dead?
Foreman: (Speaking to Cameron). He's not joking?
House: Be patient. She's going through all of us. She'll get that jungle fever eventually.
House: What would we do if this patient were not just a tadpole? Say it was an actual person.
Cuddy: He is a person.
House: Thanks for playing along.
Emma: So this really worked. He¹ll be normal?
House: Um... if you call being born twice, normal.
Emma: Hey, thank you.
House: Don¹t thank me. I would have killed the kid.
