Damned If You Do (Quotes)
Originally aired on December 14, 2004.
House: (To Sick Nun) You must be all the talk around the holy water cooler.
Sister Eucharist: This is a chapel - a house of prayer.
House: (Watching a Portable TV). House of prayer, huh? That explains the good reception.
Sister Eucharist: Thank you for your patience.
Wilson: Is she talking to you?
House: I don't know. She's certainly looking at me...
House: What the hell are those?
Cameron: Candy canes.
House: Candy canes? Are you mocking me?
Cameron: No. It's, it's Christmas and I thought...
House: Relax – it's a joke.
Foreman: Everyone screws up. Your rule. I think you fit within the subset of "everyone."
House: I didn't screw up.
House: She has God inside her. It would have been easier to deal with a tumor.
House: What do you know about the nun?
Chase: Which one?
House: The cute one. I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.
House: I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask.
Mother Superior: Ah. And have you been speaking to Sister Eucharist?
House: She ratted out her fellow sister pretty quickly. If I were you, I'd have her repeat a year of nun school.
House: ... she has a tattoo on her shoulder of a skunk. Now, maybe it’s the Sacred Skunk of Joseph, but as far as I know, Catholic foster care and monasteries do not keep tattoo parlors in their refractories.
Cuddy: (House tosses her a tea bag). What is this? Hemlock?
House: (Quoting Cuddy). "I’m going to do you the biggest favor one doctor can do another. I’m gonna stop you from killing your patient." It’s figwort tea. Great for that little pick me up we’re all looking for in the morning. Opens the lungs, increases the blood pressure, stimulates the heart. Unfortunately, if you then get injected with even 0.1 cc of epinephrine: instant cardiac arrest. Still, what the hell, it tastes great.
Cuddy: Let’s just get this patient healthy. I want her going out the front door and not the back.
House: I recognize that confidence is not my short suit. I also recognize that I am human and capable of error.
Wilson: So you might have screwed this up?
House: No.
Wilson: So, it's only a theoretical capacity for error.
House: Good point. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe that's my error.
Wilson: You know, most people who think as much of themselves as you do like to talk about themselves.
House: Most people don't like to listen, so what's wrong with you?
House: (To Sick Nun) You must be all the talk around the holy water cooler.
Sister Eucharist: This is a chapel - a house of prayer.
House: (Watching a Portable TV). House of prayer, huh? That explains the good reception.
Sister Eucharist: Thank you for your patience.
Wilson: Is she talking to you?
House: I don't know. She's certainly looking at me...
House: What the hell are those?
Cameron: Candy canes.
House: Candy canes? Are you mocking me?
Cameron: No. It's, it's Christmas and I thought...
House: Relax – it's a joke.
Foreman: Everyone screws up. Your rule. I think you fit within the subset of "everyone."
House: I didn't screw up.
House: She has God inside her. It would have been easier to deal with a tumor.
House: What do you know about the nun?
Chase: Which one?
House: The cute one. I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.
House: I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask.
Mother Superior: Ah. And have you been speaking to Sister Eucharist?
House: She ratted out her fellow sister pretty quickly. If I were you, I'd have her repeat a year of nun school.
House: ... she has a tattoo on her shoulder of a skunk. Now, maybe it’s the Sacred Skunk of Joseph, but as far as I know, Catholic foster care and monasteries do not keep tattoo parlors in their refractories.
Cuddy: (House tosses her a tea bag). What is this? Hemlock?
House: (Quoting Cuddy). "I’m going to do you the biggest favor one doctor can do another. I’m gonna stop you from killing your patient." It’s figwort tea. Great for that little pick me up we’re all looking for in the morning. Opens the lungs, increases the blood pressure, stimulates the heart. Unfortunately, if you then get injected with even 0.1 cc of epinephrine: instant cardiac arrest. Still, what the hell, it tastes great.
Cuddy: Let’s just get this patient healthy. I want her going out the front door and not the back.
House: I recognize that confidence is not my short suit. I also recognize that I am human and capable of error.
Wilson: So you might have screwed this up?
House: No.
Wilson: So, it's only a theoretical capacity for error.
House: Good point. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe that's my error.
Wilson: You know, most people who think as much of themselves as you do like to talk about themselves.
House: Most people don't like to listen, so what's wrong with you?
