You Don't Want to Know (Quotes)
Originally aired on November 20, 2007.
Taub: (Spotting a rabbit's cage). Aha! Tularemia.
Kutner: (Hasn't seen the cafe). Nah, you'd have to have rabbits.
Taub: True. Maybe a tick jumped from a rabbit and landed on one of these white fluffy alligators.
House: Patient dead yet?
Thirteen: No.
House: That's a little much for a first date.
Thirteen: Obviously, you've never dated me.
Amber: Pseudomonas would present as an armpit rash. Take off your shirt.
House: You first.
Flynn: (Speaking to House). You ever do magic as a kid? You seem like the type. Lonely, obsessive.
House: We can all applaud the doctor who's willing to break all the rules. But the real hero is the unsung doctor, toiling in anonymity, because he broke the rules without getting caught. I need to know you have these skills. I need you to bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy. Not kidding. Thong. Cuddy. Go.
(The applicants look at Foreman).
Foreman: It's how I got hired.
House: I found an old picture in your wallet.
Thirteen: Of course you did.
House: I wasn’t snooping. I needed lunch money.
Kutner: I have a sick guy. I saw this magician last night-
House: The girl’s fine. He didn’t really cut her in half.
Cole: You don’t seem to care if you get this job or not.
Thirteen: Yeah, I’ve been here for eight weeks 'cause my subscription to Masochism Weekly ran out.
House: Magic is cool. Actual magic is oxymoronic. Might not even be oxy.
House: The whole point of this was to subvert Cuddy. You became her partner, gave her power she didn’t already have. Let her greedy fingers into my cookie jar. Which, sadly, is not as dirty as it sounds.
Foreman: Um, there's a guy bleeding.
House: Foreman, she's not wearing any underwear. You used to be more fun.
Foreman: She's not wearing any underwear, big deal. When she stops wearing clothing, then we can stop the medical stuff.
Wilson: You knew they'd get paged?
House: I noticed a trend. If nobody does anything, sick people often get sicker. Do you think it's remotely possible they had sex?
Wilson: They're both single. It's still legal in the blue states.
House: She barely knows him.
Wilson: You know, in some cultures, hiring people to steal someone's underpants is considered wooing. You should move there. Because here it's just, you know, creepy.
House: There was no woo. This was an effective test.
Wilson: This is beneath my skills.
House: I finally have a case of Lupus.
Wilson: Of course you’re type AB. universal recipient. You take from everybody.
House: Course, you’re Type O, universal donor. No wonder you’re paying three alimonies.
Taub: Those really were her panties?
House: Cole has traveled through the forest of crustaceans and brought us a treasure.
House: Oh my God! You’re not wearing underwear!
Cuddy: Of course I’m-
House: Skirt that tight, you got no secrets. Skirt that tight, I can tell if you’ve got an IUD.
Thirteen: You spend your whole life looking for answers. Because you think the next answer would change something, maybe make you a little less miserable. And you know that when you run out questions you don't just run out of answers, you run out of hope. You glad you know that?
Taub: (Spotting a rabbit's cage). Aha! Tularemia.
Kutner: (Hasn't seen the cafe). Nah, you'd have to have rabbits.
Taub: True. Maybe a tick jumped from a rabbit and landed on one of these white fluffy alligators.
House: Patient dead yet?
Thirteen: No.
House: That's a little much for a first date.
Thirteen: Obviously, you've never dated me.
Amber: Pseudomonas would present as an armpit rash. Take off your shirt.
House: You first.
Flynn: (Speaking to House). You ever do magic as a kid? You seem like the type. Lonely, obsessive.
House: We can all applaud the doctor who's willing to break all the rules. But the real hero is the unsung doctor, toiling in anonymity, because he broke the rules without getting caught. I need to know you have these skills. I need you to bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy. Not kidding. Thong. Cuddy. Go.
(The applicants look at Foreman).
Foreman: It's how I got hired.
House: I found an old picture in your wallet.
Thirteen: Of course you did.
House: I wasn’t snooping. I needed lunch money.
Kutner: I have a sick guy. I saw this magician last night-
House: The girl’s fine. He didn’t really cut her in half.
Cole: You don’t seem to care if you get this job or not.
Thirteen: Yeah, I’ve been here for eight weeks 'cause my subscription to Masochism Weekly ran out.
House: Magic is cool. Actual magic is oxymoronic. Might not even be oxy.
House: The whole point of this was to subvert Cuddy. You became her partner, gave her power she didn’t already have. Let her greedy fingers into my cookie jar. Which, sadly, is not as dirty as it sounds.
Foreman: Um, there's a guy bleeding.
House: Foreman, she's not wearing any underwear. You used to be more fun.
Foreman: She's not wearing any underwear, big deal. When she stops wearing clothing, then we can stop the medical stuff.
Wilson: You knew they'd get paged?
House: I noticed a trend. If nobody does anything, sick people often get sicker. Do you think it's remotely possible they had sex?
Wilson: They're both single. It's still legal in the blue states.
House: She barely knows him.
Wilson: You know, in some cultures, hiring people to steal someone's underpants is considered wooing. You should move there. Because here it's just, you know, creepy.
House: There was no woo. This was an effective test.
Wilson: This is beneath my skills.
House: I finally have a case of Lupus.
Wilson: Of course you’re type AB. universal recipient. You take from everybody.
House: Course, you’re Type O, universal donor. No wonder you’re paying three alimonies.
Taub: Those really were her panties?
House: Cole has traveled through the forest of crustaceans and brought us a treasure.
House: Oh my God! You’re not wearing underwear!
Cuddy: Of course I’m-
House: Skirt that tight, you got no secrets. Skirt that tight, I can tell if you’ve got an IUD.
Thirteen: You spend your whole life looking for answers. Because you think the next answer would change something, maybe make you a little less miserable. And you know that when you run out questions you don't just run out of answers, you run out of hope. You glad you know that?
