Family (Quotes)
Originally aired on May 1, 2007.
House: How old is Hector?
Cameron: Our patient's name is Matty. His brother's Nick.
Wilson: Hector's my dog. He's about seventeen.
House: Seventeen? That's like a hundred and nineteen in human years. Why's he still alive?
Wilson: I treat patients for months, maybe years, not weeks likes you. If they don't trust me, I can't do my job.
House: The only value of that trust is you can manipulate them.
Wilson: You should write greeting cards.
House: Giving parents the chance to make a bad choice was a bad choice.
Wilson: At least it would have been their choice.
House: One they'd regret at their son's funeral.
Foreman: I want to recheck the national marrow registry for an alternate donor.
House: In case we're wrong?
Foreman: It's been known to happen.
Wilson: How, exactly, does a dog unscrew a bottle of pills?
House: Is that a riddle?
House: Cool.
Cane Store Person: Genuine bull penis stretched over a metal rod.
House: Penis canes are murder.
House: Any more questions while your son's life slips away?
Cameron: (Eyeing House's new cane). Flames?
House: Makes it look like I'm going faster.
House: Wow, he sure is hurting.
Scott: Nurses said he maxed out on his pain meds.
House: If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that.
House: I’m sorry.
Wilson: OK.
(Pause).
House: You're pathetic. I didn't actually mean that.
Wilson: Yes, you did.
House: No, I didn’t. To infinity.
Wilson: Yes, you did. You're pathetic.
House: I've got no problem with what Foreman did.
Wilson: He undercut us and he may have cost that kid his life.
House: Foreman did what he thought was right. You on the other hand sucked out. When the decision really mattered, you didn't have the guts to tell them what to do. If that kid dies, it's because Foreman was wrong and because you're a coward.
House: You want to catch a movie?
Wilson: It's one in the morning.
House: I know a place. Although I wouldn’t recommend wearing those shoes.
House: Once we know what the infection is, we'll know exactly how to treat it. As long as he isn't dead yet, we're cool.
(Wilson and House leave a patient's room after Wilson gives them advice that supports House's theory).
House: That was awesome!
Wilson: Shut up.
House: I gotta start pretending the care.
Wilson: I did exactly what Cuddy told us not to do.
House: No, you didn't. You did exactly what she told me not to do. You're completely in the clear.
House: You're not protecting your choices; you're soothing your conscience.
Wilson: By that logic a sociopath would make the best patient advocate in the world.
House: Am I blushing?
House: You're a sneaky b******. Any ideas how we get around this?
Chase: Court order.
House: That’s hardly sneaky.
House: Hey, you're not going to believe what happened. Wilson just killed a kid the same way you did. He didn't look both ways before he nuked.
Wilson: He's not dead.
House: Five days are gonna fly by.
House: You have only one decision to make. You can leave here with one dead son or two.
Wilson: Why don't you buy your canes at a medical supply store like a normal cripple?
House: Fewer bit**in' choices.
Cane Store Person: This is one of our top sellers.
House: A little too "Marilyn Manson in the retirement home."
(House returns to his home after purposefully leaving the door open so that Hector the dog could run away).
House: Oh, goodness! I left my door open! My poor dog must've run away and been hit by a car, or truck or train an anvil.
(House looks and finds that Hector is still in the house).
House: (Sarcastically). Thank God, your still here. He's still here!
Cuddy: Do you have anything to add to this debate?
House: Wilson's right, Foreman's wrong and your shirt is way too revealing for the office.
House: What is the point in being able to control people if you won't actually do it? It’s like training a dog and then letting him go on your rug.
Wilson: How many hours a day do you have to spend with someone before they're basically family?
House: Good point. But, first, I gotta tell Cameron and Chase that they're violating God's will.
Wilson: I'm just asking you to have an adult conversation to let him know—
House: He did a good job? He knows it. Adults don't need adult conversations. Just like I don't need this conversation.
Foreman: I'm not like you. A patient died because you were distracted over the death of your dad. I made a calculated decision. You acted like a human being. I acted like... House.
House: Ten thousand possible infections, at least 20 minutes per test, take you approximately eight years.
Foreman: Actually, four months, assuming the last one I test is the right one. If it's the first, it'll take me approximately 20 minutes.
Wilson: He's right, it's worth a shot.
House: He's timid. Testing blindly is not gonna save this kid.
Foreman: But, standing around here will.
House: You did good.
Foreman: I did what you would have.
House: Well, maybe I'm biased but—
Foreman: I tortured the kid.
House: Because you knew it was right. You knew you were saving his brother.
Foreman: I know. I don't like that I know. I hate that I can listen to a kid screaming in pain and not even take a moment to question whether I'm doing the right thing. I hate that in order to be like you as a doctor, I have to be like you as a human being. I don't want to turn into you.
House: You're not. You've been like me since you were eight years old.
Foreman: You'll save more people that I will. But I'll settle for killing less. Consider this my two weeks notice.
House: How old is Hector?
Cameron: Our patient's name is Matty. His brother's Nick.
Wilson: Hector's my dog. He's about seventeen.
House: Seventeen? That's like a hundred and nineteen in human years. Why's he still alive?
Wilson: I treat patients for months, maybe years, not weeks likes you. If they don't trust me, I can't do my job.
House: The only value of that trust is you can manipulate them.
Wilson: You should write greeting cards.
House: Giving parents the chance to make a bad choice was a bad choice.
Wilson: At least it would have been their choice.
House: One they'd regret at their son's funeral.
Foreman: I want to recheck the national marrow registry for an alternate donor.
House: In case we're wrong?
Foreman: It's been known to happen.
Wilson: How, exactly, does a dog unscrew a bottle of pills?
House: Is that a riddle?
House: Cool.
Cane Store Person: Genuine bull penis stretched over a metal rod.
House: Penis canes are murder.
House: Any more questions while your son's life slips away?
Cameron: (Eyeing House's new cane). Flames?
House: Makes it look like I'm going faster.
House: Wow, he sure is hurting.
Scott: Nurses said he maxed out on his pain meds.
House: If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that.
House: I’m sorry.
Wilson: OK.
(Pause).
House: You're pathetic. I didn't actually mean that.
Wilson: Yes, you did.
House: No, I didn’t. To infinity.
Wilson: Yes, you did. You're pathetic.
House: I've got no problem with what Foreman did.
Wilson: He undercut us and he may have cost that kid his life.
House: Foreman did what he thought was right. You on the other hand sucked out. When the decision really mattered, you didn't have the guts to tell them what to do. If that kid dies, it's because Foreman was wrong and because you're a coward.
House: You want to catch a movie?
Wilson: It's one in the morning.
House: I know a place. Although I wouldn’t recommend wearing those shoes.
House: Once we know what the infection is, we'll know exactly how to treat it. As long as he isn't dead yet, we're cool.
(Wilson and House leave a patient's room after Wilson gives them advice that supports House's theory).
House: That was awesome!
Wilson: Shut up.
House: I gotta start pretending the care.
Wilson: I did exactly what Cuddy told us not to do.
House: No, you didn't. You did exactly what she told me not to do. You're completely in the clear.
House: You're not protecting your choices; you're soothing your conscience.
Wilson: By that logic a sociopath would make the best patient advocate in the world.
House: Am I blushing?
House: You're a sneaky b******. Any ideas how we get around this?
Chase: Court order.
House: That’s hardly sneaky.
House: Hey, you're not going to believe what happened. Wilson just killed a kid the same way you did. He didn't look both ways before he nuked.
Wilson: He's not dead.
House: Five days are gonna fly by.
House: You have only one decision to make. You can leave here with one dead son or two.
Wilson: Why don't you buy your canes at a medical supply store like a normal cripple?
House: Fewer bit**in' choices.
Cane Store Person: This is one of our top sellers.
House: A little too "Marilyn Manson in the retirement home."
(House returns to his home after purposefully leaving the door open so that Hector the dog could run away).
House: Oh, goodness! I left my door open! My poor dog must've run away and been hit by a car, or truck or train an anvil.
(House looks and finds that Hector is still in the house).
House: (Sarcastically). Thank God, your still here. He's still here!
Cuddy: Do you have anything to add to this debate?
House: Wilson's right, Foreman's wrong and your shirt is way too revealing for the office.
House: What is the point in being able to control people if you won't actually do it? It’s like training a dog and then letting him go on your rug.
Wilson: How many hours a day do you have to spend with someone before they're basically family?
House: Good point. But, first, I gotta tell Cameron and Chase that they're violating God's will.
Wilson: I'm just asking you to have an adult conversation to let him know—
House: He did a good job? He knows it. Adults don't need adult conversations. Just like I don't need this conversation.
Foreman: I'm not like you. A patient died because you were distracted over the death of your dad. I made a calculated decision. You acted like a human being. I acted like... House.
House: Ten thousand possible infections, at least 20 minutes per test, take you approximately eight years.
Foreman: Actually, four months, assuming the last one I test is the right one. If it's the first, it'll take me approximately 20 minutes.
Wilson: He's right, it's worth a shot.
House: He's timid. Testing blindly is not gonna save this kid.
Foreman: But, standing around here will.
House: You did good.
Foreman: I did what you would have.
House: Well, maybe I'm biased but—
Foreman: I tortured the kid.
House: Because you knew it was right. You knew you were saving his brother.
Foreman: I know. I don't like that I know. I hate that I can listen to a kid screaming in pain and not even take a moment to question whether I'm doing the right thing. I hate that in order to be like you as a doctor, I have to be like you as a human being. I don't want to turn into you.
House: You're not. You've been like me since you were eight years old.
Foreman: You'll save more people that I will. But I'll settle for killing less. Consider this my two weeks notice.
