Merry Little Christmas (Quotes)
Originally aired December 12, 2006.
Foreman: We need to stop retracing our steps and get ahead of this thing.
Wilson: House - you've tanned.
Foreman: You don't think I could've come up with this?
Cuddy: Did you?
House: (Speaking to Wilson). Look, there's Jesus! Go tell the Romans.
Foreman: You just don't want a cancer diagnosis because then you have to deal with Wilson.
House: Lung cancer is a lame diagnosis. Avoiding Wilson is an added bonus.
Cameron: What are you going to do?
House: I thought I'd get your theories, mock them and embrace my own. The usual.
House: You're gonna come begging me to save this girl long before I come begging you for pills.
Foreman: I get why you don't want to go to rehab. But, only an idiot goes to prison for being stubborn.
House: Only an idiot stands between Ahab and his whale. Move.
House: Can we forget my vices, get back to my virtues?
House: I just need to borrow her for a tiny moment. Small favor.
Wilson: Why aren't you detoxing?
House: (Pops a pill). Willpower.
Wilson: Wh-what?
House: Normal's not normal, if you're not normal.
Wilson: Did you just take a pill?
House: No.
Tritter: Merry Christmas,
House: And a happy go to hell!
Cameron: Was it an easy choice? (To talk to Tritter about House).
Wilson: Of course not. But, it's right.
Cameron: Then, why wasn't it easy?
Wilson: Because he's my friend. It's obviously complicated.
Cameron: It's complicated? When you decided to talk to Tritter, your life got a million times better. How do you seperate that out? How do you pretend your windfall isn't relevant to this decision?
Wilson: It was the right thing to do.
Cameron: You pretending your motives are pure is why I have a problem.
House: We both know that my pride far surpasses my instinct for self preservation. You want to redeem yourself, give up now.
Wilson: And you'll go to jail.
House: I've done nothing wrong.
Wilson: And you'll go to jail.
Maddy: My daughter and I both have cartilage hair hypoplasia. Think you can make a pun out of that?
House: Yes, but I don't want to be insensitive. She's got a bit of a short fuse, doesn't she?
House: Cuddy thinks it's idiopathic. Cuddy and idiop being the relevant parts of that sentence.
Chase: Well, I'd say TB, but Cuddy's already ruled it out.
House: And you'd be just as big an idiop as her.
Wilson: (Speaking to Tritter). I can't testify. Drug addicts hurt the people around them with their habit.
Tritter: House has hurt plenty of people, you included.
Wilson: He saves lives, people that no one else can save and no matter how much of an a** he is, statistically House is a positive force in the universe. Pills let him do that.
Tritter: Vicodin does not make House a genius, whatever he does on the pills he can do off. He is just not willing to try.
Wilson: I won't testify against him.
Tritter: Then we'll subpoena you, your previous statement will be read into evidence and you'll be charged with interfering with an investigation and you will go to jail.
Wilson: Again, statistically better me than him.
Tritter: Statistically - the two of you will be in jail.
Maddy: Are you high?
House: Higher than you.
House: I’m certainly curious about the logistics. Did you stand on a table?
Cameron: House!
Maddy: Pretty much - he'd lay flat and spin me.
Abigail: Mom!
Maddy: Being different, you get used to people's idiocy. It still beats the hell out of actually being an idiot.
(House smiles).
Maddy: What?
House: Care to go for a spin?
Wilson: House! Just give me a minute. You're afraid of the pain.
House: (Aiming to hit Wilson with his cane). You're not?
Wilson: I told him (Tritter) I didn't write those prescriptions.
Tritter: I spoke with the DA. He agreed to two months in a rehab facility in exchange for a guilty plea.
House: Get out of my office.
Wilson: No jail time.
House: Right, so I should get locked up in some place I don't belong in order to avoid getting locked up in some other place I don't belong.
Tritter: I got you on forgery, fraud and on drugs-
Wilson: No sanctions to the medical board.
House: Uh huh and you get your car back and your bank accounts and your precious tumour ridden patients.
Wilson: I did this to help you.
House: Next Christmas, buy me a sweater.
Wilson: You punched out an employee - you nearly cut a little girl in half because you were too strung out-
House: I was in pain! You need to believe that I've got a problem so that your betrayal has the illusion of nobility, but you just selfishly-
Tritter: Knock it off. Look, I don't care why Dr. Wilson is doing this and right now it makes no difference to you either. You need to deal with the reality of your current situation. You want to stand on principle, you end up in a cell and you end up never practicing medicine again. So, you got two choices - your principles or your life.
House: Get out of my office.
Foreman: We need to stop retracing our steps and get ahead of this thing.
Wilson: House - you've tanned.
Foreman: You don't think I could've come up with this?
Cuddy: Did you?
House: (Speaking to Wilson). Look, there's Jesus! Go tell the Romans.
Foreman: You just don't want a cancer diagnosis because then you have to deal with Wilson.
House: Lung cancer is a lame diagnosis. Avoiding Wilson is an added bonus.
Cameron: What are you going to do?
House: I thought I'd get your theories, mock them and embrace my own. The usual.
House: You're gonna come begging me to save this girl long before I come begging you for pills.
Foreman: I get why you don't want to go to rehab. But, only an idiot goes to prison for being stubborn.
House: Only an idiot stands between Ahab and his whale. Move.
House: Can we forget my vices, get back to my virtues?
House: I just need to borrow her for a tiny moment. Small favor.
Wilson: Why aren't you detoxing?
House: (Pops a pill). Willpower.
Wilson: Wh-what?
House: Normal's not normal, if you're not normal.
Wilson: Did you just take a pill?
House: No.
Tritter: Merry Christmas,
House: And a happy go to hell!
Cameron: Was it an easy choice? (To talk to Tritter about House).
Wilson: Of course not. But, it's right.
Cameron: Then, why wasn't it easy?
Wilson: Because he's my friend. It's obviously complicated.
Cameron: It's complicated? When you decided to talk to Tritter, your life got a million times better. How do you seperate that out? How do you pretend your windfall isn't relevant to this decision?
Wilson: It was the right thing to do.
Cameron: You pretending your motives are pure is why I have a problem.
House: We both know that my pride far surpasses my instinct for self preservation. You want to redeem yourself, give up now.
Wilson: And you'll go to jail.
House: I've done nothing wrong.
Wilson: And you'll go to jail.
Maddy: My daughter and I both have cartilage hair hypoplasia. Think you can make a pun out of that?
House: Yes, but I don't want to be insensitive. She's got a bit of a short fuse, doesn't she?
House: Cuddy thinks it's idiopathic. Cuddy and idiop being the relevant parts of that sentence.
Chase: Well, I'd say TB, but Cuddy's already ruled it out.
House: And you'd be just as big an idiop as her.
Wilson: (Speaking to Tritter). I can't testify. Drug addicts hurt the people around them with their habit.
Tritter: House has hurt plenty of people, you included.
Wilson: He saves lives, people that no one else can save and no matter how much of an a** he is, statistically House is a positive force in the universe. Pills let him do that.
Tritter: Vicodin does not make House a genius, whatever he does on the pills he can do off. He is just not willing to try.
Wilson: I won't testify against him.
Tritter: Then we'll subpoena you, your previous statement will be read into evidence and you'll be charged with interfering with an investigation and you will go to jail.
Wilson: Again, statistically better me than him.
Tritter: Statistically - the two of you will be in jail.
Maddy: Are you high?
House: Higher than you.
House: I’m certainly curious about the logistics. Did you stand on a table?
Cameron: House!
Maddy: Pretty much - he'd lay flat and spin me.
Abigail: Mom!
Maddy: Being different, you get used to people's idiocy. It still beats the hell out of actually being an idiot.
(House smiles).
Maddy: What?
House: Care to go for a spin?
Wilson: House! Just give me a minute. You're afraid of the pain.
House: (Aiming to hit Wilson with his cane). You're not?
Wilson: I told him (Tritter) I didn't write those prescriptions.
Tritter: I spoke with the DA. He agreed to two months in a rehab facility in exchange for a guilty plea.
House: Get out of my office.
Wilson: No jail time.
House: Right, so I should get locked up in some place I don't belong in order to avoid getting locked up in some other place I don't belong.
Tritter: I got you on forgery, fraud and on drugs-
Wilson: No sanctions to the medical board.
House: Uh huh and you get your car back and your bank accounts and your precious tumour ridden patients.
Wilson: I did this to help you.
House: Next Christmas, buy me a sweater.
Wilson: You punched out an employee - you nearly cut a little girl in half because you were too strung out-
House: I was in pain! You need to believe that I've got a problem so that your betrayal has the illusion of nobility, but you just selfishly-
Tritter: Knock it off. Look, I don't care why Dr. Wilson is doing this and right now it makes no difference to you either. You need to deal with the reality of your current situation. You want to stand on principle, you end up in a cell and you end up never practicing medicine again. So, you got two choices - your principles or your life.
House: Get out of my office.
