Que Sera Sera (Quotes)
Originally aired November 7, 2006.
Wilson: Selectively irrational, stubborn, uncooperative, maybe you ought to check his leg.
House: (Laughs). Did you see what he did there? The patient's like me! The patient's three mes!
House: Start treating Jabba for Pickwickian Syndrome. His 96ZZs are probably putting pressure on his chest, suffocating him.
Foreman: His CO2 and oxygen stats are normal.
House: For you and me - what's normal for a hippopotomus?
Cuddy: You blow stuff up, makes my life miserable, makes me need to make your life miserable.
(After being told that the obese patient would like to be discharged).
House: Oh, right, places to go; people to eat.
House: Hey, Gomer Pyle! I know you can hear me!
Tritter: I think you mean Barney Fife.
House: So many great idiot icons to choose from.
Tritter: You need time to think of some more?
House: Either arraign me or let me go.
Tritter: No problem, which do you prefer?
House: So, your arm only hurts after you lay on top of it all night?
Patient: Yes.
House: Have you ever thought about, I don't know, not doing that?
House: You say "no way", I say... (pause) yeah, no way.
Patient: You want to remove my arm?
House: Well, it is your left, but a guy has got to sleep.
Patient: Are you insane?
George: I am not diabetic!
House: Grocery stores giving away medical degrees with the free turkeys now?
Nurse: How much does this guy weigh?
Cameron: 440.
Nurse: Looks like a lot more.
Cameron: That's because he's lying down.
House: This is all because some cop came into the clinic. I was rude to him. This is his way of getting back at me.
Howard: You've made it pretty easy.
House: His insane reaction to a simple rectal thermometer reading probably says a lot more about his mother than it says about me.
House: This conversation is over, because I've officially run out of clever things to call the guy.
House: I'm not a pain doctor, I’m a pain patient.
Wilson: Better get yourself a lawyer.
House: Already got one.
Wilson: You know what they say about the lawyer who has himself as a client?
House: Same thing they say about the doctor who lends 15 grand to a friend he knows can’t pay him back.
Tritter: People who are innocent tend not to try to hide their arrest.
House: Is that based on your years of experience of arresting innocent people?
Foreman: Where are you going?
House: To get a $400 butt plug.
Cameron: What about George?
House: He's going to have to get his own.
Cameron: Where are you going?
House: The butt plug was my way of saying "None of your business." Apparently too subtle.
Cameron: Who's that?
House: Apparently, Cuddy's widened her sperm donor search to include Neanderthals.
Foreman: Cuddy's looking for a sperm donor?
House: It's a joke. Like Cuddy would ever want a kid. Or a kid would ever want Cuddy. Hello, that's why it’s funny!
Cameron: What'd your lawyer say? I looked up "butt plug" in a legal dictionary.
Wilson: Selectively irrational, stubborn, uncooperative, maybe you ought to check his leg.
House: (Laughs). Did you see what he did there? The patient's like me! The patient's three mes!
House: Start treating Jabba for Pickwickian Syndrome. His 96ZZs are probably putting pressure on his chest, suffocating him.
Foreman: His CO2 and oxygen stats are normal.
House: For you and me - what's normal for a hippopotomus?
Cuddy: You blow stuff up, makes my life miserable, makes me need to make your life miserable.
(After being told that the obese patient would like to be discharged).
House: Oh, right, places to go; people to eat.
House: Hey, Gomer Pyle! I know you can hear me!
Tritter: I think you mean Barney Fife.
House: So many great idiot icons to choose from.
Tritter: You need time to think of some more?
House: Either arraign me or let me go.
Tritter: No problem, which do you prefer?
House: So, your arm only hurts after you lay on top of it all night?
Patient: Yes.
House: Have you ever thought about, I don't know, not doing that?
House: You say "no way", I say... (pause) yeah, no way.
Patient: You want to remove my arm?
House: Well, it is your left, but a guy has got to sleep.
Patient: Are you insane?
George: I am not diabetic!
House: Grocery stores giving away medical degrees with the free turkeys now?
Nurse: How much does this guy weigh?
Cameron: 440.
Nurse: Looks like a lot more.
Cameron: That's because he's lying down.
House: This is all because some cop came into the clinic. I was rude to him. This is his way of getting back at me.
Howard: You've made it pretty easy.
House: His insane reaction to a simple rectal thermometer reading probably says a lot more about his mother than it says about me.
House: This conversation is over, because I've officially run out of clever things to call the guy.
House: I'm not a pain doctor, I’m a pain patient.
Wilson: Better get yourself a lawyer.
House: Already got one.
Wilson: You know what they say about the lawyer who has himself as a client?
House: Same thing they say about the doctor who lends 15 grand to a friend he knows can’t pay him back.
Tritter: People who are innocent tend not to try to hide their arrest.
House: Is that based on your years of experience of arresting innocent people?
Foreman: Where are you going?
House: To get a $400 butt plug.
Cameron: What about George?
House: He's going to have to get his own.
Cameron: Where are you going?
House: The butt plug was my way of saying "None of your business." Apparently too subtle.
Cameron: Who's that?
House: Apparently, Cuddy's widened her sperm donor search to include Neanderthals.
Foreman: Cuddy's looking for a sperm donor?
House: It's a joke. Like Cuddy would ever want a kid. Or a kid would ever want Cuddy. Hello, that's why it’s funny!
Cameron: What'd your lawyer say? I looked up "butt plug" in a legal dictionary.
