Originally aired on on May 16, 2006.

House: (His answering machine). You've reached a number that has been disconnected and is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, go with it. Hang up on three. One, two... (answering machine beep).
Cuddy: House, pick up. I know it's your day off and you've no doubt got lots of exciting plans, but I've got a case.

House: So, what is she, Foreman? A light skinned black chick or dark skinned white chick?

Wilson: You didn't run the test?
House: Said I wouldn't.
Wilson: OK, so either you lied or he has pictures of you being nice.

Crandall: And I'm her father.
House: Hm, yeah, she looks just like you. Got the same 'fro.
Crandall: I wrote a book about Baker. Hung out with him. And his daughter.
House: That is how babies are made.

House: How does somebody who believes absolutely anything become a non fiction writer?

Chase: Her heart's fragile after that last attack! The chances of tachycardia are...
House: You have my permission to blame Foreman in any negligence trial.

Crandall: Heard about your leg.
House: Yeah, pulled my hamstring playing Twister. Just gonna walk it off.

Crandall: If our friendship means anything to you...
House: Do you know anything about me at all?

Cuddy: You didn't tell anyone else what I'm doing?
House: Not a soul.
Cuddy: Wilson? Cameron? Maybe you mentioned it to her.
House: No, I'm really a good secret keeper. Never told anyone that Wilson wets his bed. Oh, you tricked me.