Originally aired February 22, 2005.

House: All life is equally sacred. And I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in here, we're on it like stink on cheese.

House: 'Hypo-gonadism'. Ain't that a great word? Thanks - we don't get to say it enough.

House: Everybody does stupid things, it shouldn't cost them everything they want in life.

Cuddy: You put him on lupra.
House: Uh-huh.
Cuddy: And you told him it was like milk?
House: Yes.
Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie?
House: It's creamy.

House: But I had three good reasons.
Cuddy: Good ones?
House: Well, lets see - I'm just making them up now.

House: You take a perverse pleasure in turning me down.
Cuddy: What I live for.

House: These tickets are so good, we have to sign a release. I mean it - we do this, we could die!

House: Fine. I'll ask one of my other friends.
Wilson: Huh?
House: What? Are you saying I've only got one friend.
Wilson: Who?
House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping.
Wilson: Okay. Well first of all, his name is Carl.
House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret friendship club name.

House: Do you like monster trucks?
Cameron: I don't know what they are...

House: Hank Wiggen peed on me. What do you think these pants are worth on eBay?

(About Foreman's girlfriend).
House: The groupies sleep with the roadies to get to Mick.
Foreman: And you're... Mick?
House: That was the metaphor I was making, yes.